Thursday, December 6, 2012

A Lady In The Streets by: Jennifer Sanchez

A Lady In The Streets…

Not all girls are cut out to be women.  There.  I said it.  And I’m not taking that shit back.  I don’t care what song has convinced every girl out here that they are indeed “looking like a bag of money”, but I know more girls that I wouldn’t DARE be caught in an Instagram picture with than real life “bad bitches” (I hate calling the women bitches, but the bitches love it). 
When did the standard for being a lady consist of throwing #teamlightskin #teammixedchick and #teamprettygirlswag into a Twitter bio?  Being a girl is due to how your chromosomes lined up.  Being a lady is due to how you were raised.

I know that not all women want to put the time and effort it takes into looking “perfect”.  Besides… they say real girls ain’t never perfect, perfect girls ain’t never real (awwww snap, 2 Drake lyrics already?!) The point isn’t to look like you’ve stepped off the pages of Vogue every time you go out.  The point is to look put together.  You want people to see you and think “hey, she looks like she woke up early to go to the gym, made herself a hearty omelet with fresh veggies she picked up at the Farmer’s Market this past weekend, and uses office supplies to their full potential.”  You don’t want to be the girl that looks like you slept in your make-up last night, had a McDonald’s hash brown for breakfast, and is now racing to your job, late, with 33% battery life.  

I think I could honestly come up with a Top 50 on this “being a lady” thing (has Complex already created this?  No? ), but I feel like there are three things I am most passionate about. 

First, you shouldn’t think it’s okay to leave your house looking sloppy. Do you understand that from the moment you leave your place of residence that PEOPLE SEE YOU?  You do?  You get that?  BECAUSE YOU SURE AS SHIT DON’T LOOK LIKE YOU ARE AWARE.  Case 1: there is this girl at my job who once told me that she has never gotten her eyebrows done.  Yeah, no, you don’t have to tell me that.  I can see that.  Right there.  ALL…UP…ON…YOUR…FACE. I want to put this delicately because I know some girls are sensitive…so…here I go:  WHO TOLD YOU THAT THIS SHIT WAS OKAY?  Eyebrows are on your face.  ON…YOUR…FACE.  That is the first thing I have to see when I LOOK at you so wax them, thread them, tweeze them.  Your friends must not love you if they are letting you walk around planet Earth like that. 
Same goes for nails.  Don’t tell me that it’s “too expensive” when there are some places that have really good deals.  If you still can’t afford it or “are too busy to get them done” (really? YOU’RE too busy?  I guess I can’t relate with my 50 HOUR A WEEK JOB), then just have your nails painted.  Seriously. I once spent a day in between manis and had taken off my polish but forgot to paint something new on. Ohmygawd, you have never seen one person find more ways to hide her hands.  I literally spent the whole day holding potted plants and “rummaging through my purse”.
Secondly, YOU ARE NOT TOO PRETTY FOR MAKE UP. .  I don’t care how “fresh faced” you think you look without make-up.  No.  You don’t.  You look tired and haggard.  Every girl should invest in awesome concealer and foundation.  I’m not saying you need to walk out of the house with a smoky eye at 10 am because, uhhh, this isn’t Jersey Shore, but if you are doing any real life shit like going to work, you need make-up.  I know, I know.  Guys always talk about how they like girls who don’t wear make up, but boys are stupid and don’t know what they are talking about.  What they mean is “I like girls who wear make up that makes them look like they aren’t wearing make up”. You can look like you aren’t wearing any make- up, too!  But with mascara and lip gloss.  Get it together. 
Thirdly, my mom gives me a lot of good advice.  “Don’t buy things you can’t afford”  “Always use a good moisturizer”  and my personal favorite, “Maybe you shouldn’t have second helpings of cake…”  The best thing she has ever told me though (and the one I always share with other ladies): “Invest in good bras and panties. And throw them away as SOON as they start looking worn.  You’re a woman.  Act like it.”  Take a minute.  Read that again.  YOU’RE…A…WOMAN.  ACT…LIKE…IT.

THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL YOU ARE WINNING AT LIFE WHILE WEARING AN OLD, STAINED BRA AND RIPPED PANTIES.  I don’t care how much you paid for all these items- if they are old, stained, ripped, or just look plain worn, THROW THEM AWAY.  Take the L.  Just…take the L and keep it moving.  What if you got into a car accident and they had to cut away your clothes?!  Peek into your shirt and leggings right now- WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE SEEN IN WHAT YOU’RE WEARING?  You think Beyonce is walking around the house in ripped panties?  Naaah, slim. 

I’m not sitting here preaching “nails done, hairs done, everything done”, but if you view yourself as a grown up, start acting like a grown up.  As my momma says, “You’re a woman.  Act like it”.  

You can also keep up with Jenn via her TWITTER


Anonymous said...

this was dope

Miss Elisa K. said...

This was good. As a woman, I feel it is good to hear another woman be candid about these things.

Anonymous said...

hahahahaah so true

Anonymous said...

A great refresher!